Amidst the waves of the past month and my internal strength and optimism, I admit, the breaches to my mail and office and subsequent actions and needs to report have left me at times feeling very stressed, sad and hurt. I hold to faith, hope and love, yet sometimes we face our humanity in ways we least expect. Today though I had no intention of sharing with anyone, I actually told a colleague what was on my mind. I feel a bit vulnerable and perhaps shared too much; I pray not. I too have been struggling with whether to confront my boss. I have held this in prayer for some time and when visiting a chuch, actually went up for prayer. Amidst prayer the woman told me she thought I should be patient in this; something I have struggled with. No one likes to feel harrassed and having formerly worked in the psychiatric forensic system I am all too familiar with concerning behaviors that develop patterns of response. So today I bow and prayer, and perhaps ask for continued prayers as I just wish for peace in my heart, for peace and healing with my boss or that perhaps if she is indeed guilty (I know she is guilty of some behaviors as I have hard evidence) that it be addressed. I too pray for a friendship most dear and special to me and that the joy I so often have in my heart blanket the unrest, stress and hurt from all of this.
Today I too think of the Anniversary of 9/11. ... Perhaps we can all (at least here in America) remember where we were when we got the news. I was teaching a psychosocial assessment and intervention class. I felt shocked as the tragedy hit. ... Perhaps now is the time for prayer...
Oh dear Lord, I come to the journal knowing that you hear every prayer that is laid upon our heart and cries out to you. .... You know my joys, my cries, my recent stress and sadness over events, and my cries to you for wisdom, peace, resolution and healing. Sometimes it is hard to be patient Lord, sometimes we wish for resolution to come in our time, not yours. Lord, I too pray that today I have not made things worse by sharing with a colleague. I pray that this be resolved as well and that she is given the strength to preserve confidentiality. Lord, amidst the strife in the world, and all the unrest, I too pray for peace in all the war torn areas, for peace in places of oppression, and that as a nation and global community we can focus on reconciliation and permit healing rather than hurt. .... Lord, amidst the unrest in my soul, I pray for peace, and that I may be a lasting, loving beautiful part of the world.